"Loose language" or the incorrect uses of Spanish, from analysis and humor

One day one of our students brought us a series of newspapers edited by a real estate.Each page promoted twelve or thirteen sales, and each sale ad was a curious and juicy analysis piece.Although no one had entrusted to him, he wondered how he could correct that, with a derogatory "that" that knew more ruin than reconstruction.

Without a doubt, the company's owner had admitted the advertising of these texts.Real estate prose, extremely concise for economic reasons, is always careless and even ignored because the objective is material: sell or rent land, houses or departments;The media written to achieve this do not matter.Anyway, there is always a first time, and, on this occasion, our student had not encountered a skeletal telegram - a common expression in this kind of messages - but with texts that even made the effort to be poetic, but nobodyHe had corrected them, nobody had hired a concealer to perform the task.

The titles that headed these ads were surprising and ingenious: "Label dress", "hard to clone", "Rompecorazones", "a couple has formed ...", "Marche a slim", "together but not scrambled," "Marriage or something less "," nothing of Chinese story "," sent to do "," Aptitudes do not lack "," good polenta "," doctorate in beauty "," like hot bread "," virtuoso of space ","Argentina Year Green »,« Tomá Mate »,« more than earthly »,« Without goalkeeper or neighbors… »,« Resurgence of the ashes »,« It is not saved from the bump… »,« it could be worse »,« the pintIt is the least "," you have to format it "," there will be none the same ... "," it good if they two times "and so many others.We extract from them some fragments that celebrate, without a doubt, the supreme and indisputable authority of the error.They are a spawning hymn to error.We penetrate some whose message, rather than stimulate the sale, cancels until the ecstasy of the will of the possible interested parties.

After consigning the street and the number in which the property is located, the guests arrive at this "banquet" without equal, which the score does not attend because it is not well received;better to ignore it than to study it, and this absence ravages.For example: a safe corner of 120 meters of land allows you to move without making any arrangement since it has been remodeled in the nineties by its current owners who have carefully preserved it ... how much love for the corner!But, in reality, he talked about a house.We will also observe that the sublime editor, possessed by that writing, no longer knows what to say and, as he does not know, emphatically personifies his daring pen everything he describes and uses only three commas.Titled his text "Get up and go":

In these values there are few options or get a discreet internal house of doubtful state and with access through a hall or find something like this little house - which although it is not very seductive today but has potentiality is practically as if it were a little housealone, […] a few 200 meters from locomocated, populous and very commercial av.Juan Bautista Alberdi 5400 on a totally independent ground floor and in front and with its own airspace.While today its current state is not the best although it is living, you have to consider other virtues that are not seen with the naked eye ...

We assume that the "discreet" is an apartment, but it does not say it.Then, it offers the little "seductive" casita.In that context, the diminutive does not favor it too much, but the editor tries to exalt it with the "potential" "as if it were a small house".When?That's not?The "as if it were" leaves doubts and confuses.I miss the legal and hypothetical imperfect future of subjunctive "it" instead of "out", preterite imperfect of subjunctive!If "it", "it is not" in the present.From these sweetened words, the house, which, at this point of the facts, has almost acquired the entity of a person, is on the ground floor! And this is "totally independent and in front and with its own airspace».To create the expectation, he first says that "it is living" and then, that, although "its current state is not the best", the one who wishes to buy it must discover "other virtues that are not seen with the naked eye".Instead of promoting your sale, it creates a kind of enigma that leaves in parentheses the possibility of acquiring it.Open end.

Another exemplity, also with three commas;It seems that the editor coincides with the ancients in which this number symbolizes harmony and perfection, qualities that these texts lack, and with Borges in which the "three" is a confirmation, in this case, of the natural impericia of the editor.Without a doubt, the title encourages with little sobriety the immediate purchase of the property:

RUINOUS

Ancient and well -broken house type PB in the background frankly destroyed but despite its unfortunate state at all habitable with fallen revocation, foundations of foundations and deterioration of facilities, floors, lining etc..that discourages a buyer little understood in constructions but not even this dantesque scenario managesConcrete stairs that connects a pseudo had in high and the rest of the perimeter of the Bovedilla and Chapas 60.77 Mts2 Cub and 95.79 mts2 prop with the advantage of being 3 units in total with pleasant facade and one corridor at least notso difficult to make it cute

Here he talks about an apartment - he likes to clarify "little house" to tender the buyer - "well broken", "frankly destroyed", in "unfortunate state at all habitable with fallen revocation" - is the state inhabits? -, with moisturediscouraging and "indignant kitchen and bathroom".At least, the patio is "generous", and the facade, "pleasant".A teacher to choose demotivating adjectives!The set forms "a Dantesque scenario" like that of its writing;Of course, with emphatic capital letters, as if to definitely remove the one who wishes to approach that place.The absence of the end point allows us to conjecture that there is something else that is not said.

In addition, in other notices, it promotes an department on the ground floor that has grill in the heart of Villa del Parque - how difficult to do a roast! -; Another seduces phobic stairs that privileges the comfort of living in a house in low but well distributed functionally, […], closed but at the same time well ventilated perimeterly abroad ... - Can you ventilate inland? -; The classic staircase connects with a Hab in high "as for mother -in -law" or (as for a not so appreciated mother -in -law) - the first quotes and the parentheses later already contain a prejudice; For single and in trouble, a pH with the minimum of comforts - with this awkward detail, is not sold; Two Amb Regios that converge to a covered patio that officiates airily of dining room - what a gallant and brave patio! -; A terrace is accessed by a relaxed staircase - how well, always relaxed! - or a department by subjectable stairs; In an environment, a lot to build a family home has no service (neither water, nor sewer, nor gas, nor light) but it is an interesting portion of interesting land; There are departments for all the pockets of 2, 3 and 4 environments with setting between modern and minimalist seductive of decontracted souls that seek something different but at the same time unbreakable; A unique, immaculate, a true architectural jewel, a sublime product without any visual pollution or looks of boundaries.The editor is so possessed by the words that even constantly relates homes with the age of its possible inhabitants: nice house in a small bottle, totally independent does not share anything c/anyone what is not small for a mature pair ideal house thatLook for an old -fashioned house that with a good neat would be barbaric.

Every so often, as to rest from its tiring pseudoliterary exercise, which, practically, lacks mandatory commas, points in abbreviations (amb, prop), of adequate prepositions, of syntactic connection, but abounds in faults of concordance (solid building ofonce that is sanito; a thousand details that seduces public of black palate), accentuation (minimum, practical, also), in flying prefixes, sometimes capital (hyper ventilated duplex and luminous recontra), in pleonasms or redundancy (aFondito parking behind) and in contradictions (the house is ugly but it is pretty), the editor's daring reflects and says: humbly there is nothing or similar in these values with this privileged genetics ...;This builder transformed a legendary concrete shed into sensual pH wave loft ... or, almost nostalgic, recalls the mythical sawmill of slaughterhouses, which became a single-person housing of alone and-or alone.Already recovered from such a hard task, recover optimism and tell us about the cheerful inner courtyard and cheerful garage;the translucent roof that ends in desired expansion;a locking mezzanine that balcony on the ground floor of impute beauty;a house that splits bonanza, whose facade denotes its generosity;a first floor honorably maintained;a pH that has among other things with exclusive and direct entrance from the street;Two unique little stretchs with visual entertaining that visually dominate a large green sector and a duplex looking at the nascent (benign Sol Mañanero);All with intimate expansion of indiscreet looks.As to insufflate confidence to the future buyer, add the following:… Take advantage that entry is not charged and it is a show worth seeing and so well produced.

How does a concealer act in front of these peculiar texts - and "for imaginative people", as the same editor clarifies - after grabbing their heads with both hands, getting the hair or beard, and ask what should do with them?Undoubtedly, if you are commissioned by the hard job, we will respond 'one each or one for each of two or more people or things' emphatically: you must correct them without distorting their style !!!, with three signs of opening exclamationand three closing, because neither the gerunds are saved.Conclusion: This editor was never assaulted by doubt.In spite of everything, we agree with Mark Twain that "humor is the greatest blessing of humanity".And it has made us laugh.

I kept reading

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